These are the news you should have paid attention to but didn’t, because you were too busy hating on Larry Ellison.

Twitter went down for a bit yesterday. It was so serious that even the Fail Whale failed to make an appearance. As expected, the internet freaked the fuck out.

Microsoft was on a roll this week. First, they announced the Surface tablet on Monday and then the long awaited Windows Phone 8 on Thursday. Existing devices won’t be upgradable, but to assuage the disappointment of Windows Phone 7 users, they also announced Windows Phone 7.8.

Responding to Apple’s announcement in the map space, Google drops prices and simplifies limits on the Maps API. Which is a nice move, but a defensive one. Remember, Google I/O is next week. Apple and Microsoft have put together a couple of tough acts to follow in the past two weeks. How can Google upstage them? This correspondent recommends they pull a reverse Jerry Lee Lewis and set a grand piano on fire.

In a horrifying display of lack of wisdom in picking their battles, the U.S. Olympic Committee sent a cease-and-desist letter to social network Ravelry because of their ongoing kitting competition “Ravelympics”, attracting the ire of two million knitters on the internet. Startled by the angry reaction that came upon them like the heat of a thousand suns, the U.S. Olympic Committee backpedaled, dropped the complaint and apologized. TWICE. Which was timely, because by then the internet was already busy hating someone else.

And finally: the video that’s causing absolute furor in the amateur mycology community.

Enjoy your weekend and follow me on Twitter.