Bro, that doesn’t look dorky AT ALL

You’ll have to excuse this correspondent’s enthusiasm but WHAT DID I SAY? You’ll notice on last Friday’s post a recommendation to Google: set a grand piano on fire in true Jerry Lee Lewis fashion. Well, they didn’t literally set anything on fire, but they did torch Moscone Center ablaze in a ball of  flames, rock and roll, and awesome. They had skydivers broadcasting their jump live via Google Glasses, commando-style rappelling and mountain bike trial antics. BOOM.

Now, haters gonna hate and tweet that Google Glasses look a little dorky. Ridiculous, even. Suffice to say Sergey Brin was the first person ever seen in public wearing a pair of Vibram FiveFingers. This is a man you can totally rely on for fashion advice.

Of course, we came a long way in wearable computing:


And remember the first time you saw someone using a mobile phone? I bet you felt like punching the guy just because.

Please refrain from punching the Premier.

So yes – If you don’t mind making regular people feel totally weirded out by your very presence, are attending Google I/O this week and happen to have $1,500 lying around, write that check and soon you’ll be interacting with people while wearing a device that records everything that happens around you, all the time, sort of like a Nineteen Eighty-Four telescreen bolted to your skull.

But here’s a quick peek into the future. Just like with cellphones, people may just end up getting used to it. And once they do, imagine a world with hordes of Google Glasses users. Add unlimited wireless bandwidth and infinite storage in the cloud. Set Google’s neural network loose on those bajillion hours of footage, carefully annotated with location metadata and information from whatever other sensors Google Glasses is packed with.

Yes, say it: Google has just laid an egg that will hatch the ultimate panopticon.

And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

(Part 2 here)